by Head_STSeveral residents from the town of Malcontent were arrested for drunk and disorderly on Saturday after attempting to reenact a tradition from Earth-That-Was involving throwing toilet paper into the trees in front of the courthouse. The teens spent the night in jail before being released to the custody of their parents.
Three more missing persons reports were filed this week, bringing the total up to 14. If anyone has any information about the missing people, please contact PFSD. Reward is offered for information resulting in finding any of the missing.
The Sheriff’s Department was called out to sort out a fight between Jeb Mitchell and Tamara Rollings over a property dispute. The department would like to congratulate them both on their upcoming divorce and have recommended restraining orders for both parties to maintain the peace.
A cow named Muffin is still impounded at the Port of Freefall SD. If not reclaimed by Friday, the Council has decided that it will be slaughtered for beef. Seriously Chet, pick up your cow.
Port of Freefall has hired a new Deputy. The name was not released to the paper at this time because the Sheriff was otherwise busy. Please welcome the newest deputy to the department and wish him luck getting through the insanity that is Unification Day Weekend.
